Well I woke up this morning like any other human, funny I know. I took Monty out side well because I thought he needed to go and string a darkie! I came back in to go back to bed, and Carrie asked for Monty so I went and got him, and we cuddled him (yes yes I know not a human but he loves it), Carrie started to take a few photos, and it started to bug me and I snapped... For the next 1.5 hours I cant remember much. All I know is I hurt my wife and I hate myself for it, there is a new hole in the wall and Monty is scared of me. I know I got a slap, and it hurt!
But reality hit, when Carrie took Monty and packed her bags and left, I realised I had nothing left, so the wall wore it. I broke down and cried like a REAL man should. After I went to clean up the mess and this what the hole now looks like.
I think I completely miss my mum, come the 24th it would be 4 years since she died, and it is too handle to handle. This is a Letter I wrote long ago.
TO MUM,
I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY... I WANT YOUR CUDDLES... I WANT TO SEE YOUR SMILE... I NEED TOO HEAR YOUR VOICE... YOU WERE TAKEN FROM ME TOO SOON... EVERYTIME CHRISTMAS, EASTER, MY BIRTHDAY AND YOUR BIRTHDAY COMES AROUND I CANT HIDE MY TEARS OR MY SHAKEY VOICE... MUMMY I LOVE SO MUCH... WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO? I KNOW YOU ARE WATCHING ME EVERYDAY AND HAVE YOUR HAND ON MY SHOULDER BUT SOMETIMES THATS NOT ENOUGH... MUM PLEASE COME BACK... YET I KNOW YOU HAVE AND I SEE YOUR SMILE SHINING DOWN FROM HEAVEN, AND YOUR VOICE IN THE WIND TELLING ME IM A GOOD BOY AND AM DOING YOU PROUD... BUT STILL MISS YOU EVERYDAY... R.I.P MUM - 24 FEB 2007
LOVE
YOUR LITTLE BOY PAUL xoxox
Hugs hope it helps blogging about it Paul xx
ReplyDeleteHugs Paul. You and Carrie will sort it out.
ReplyDelete